Here's my promise to you.

I'm writing this article, a few days ahead of what I usually do, because I've seen many people who I love and care about deeply are in a dark place.
First of all, I would like to tell you that even though I've been writing for almost a year now, I've got absolutely nothing figured out. I have some certainties about my own process, but I'm no expert in this topic. What I'm I? A woman with a lot of time to write, a passion for it, and a huge desire to make people feel less broken for the rest of my life. I'm someone who decided to speak up and to tell her story, in order to help others, because I saw that for me it was absolutely therapeutical to read what others where going through. For the simple reason that you don't feel alone. You don't feel like a weirdo or like a monster anymore, you know there are others, just like you, walking down and up the streets.
I'm a firm believer that people can live with mental health conditions. With that, I'm not saying that it's easy, or that it's simple. I'm saying that with enough love and support we can make it through. While typing this I remember one conversation I had with someone (Who I don't remember at this moment, sorry about that), and as I told her (I'm pretty sure it was a girl) about the chronic depression thing, she told me "Well, at least you don't have anything that's lethal". And I nodded, as this affirmation spinned in my head, and I thought, is it a good thing? I remember I answered laughing, saying that it would only make that the years I lived felt miserable, and of course, it has a toll on my lifestyle and quality.
Often, I remember this conversation. Often, I think of myself when I was just diagnosed and now. And I think that if I was told in that moment that this was a long term, long life disease, I would have preffer that it killed me right there.
But then I think about today. 6 years later. And 6 years were I've met hell, death and all of his friends. But I've also known faith, love, support, courage, strength. And I don't think I would have been able to meet all of them if it wasn't for being through hell and back in several, several ocassions.
And still, I've got nothing figured out except one thing. If you come to me, to share your issues, to share your conditions, I will bend overbackwards in order to keep you alive. I can't promise you it will be easy, I can't promise that your mind will be a garden of roses because it's more like poison ivy sometimes. But I'll keep you alive kiddo, because I know that you deserve to be alive. Even if today being alive means having a lot of pain and suffering, it will get better. You won't stay like you are right now for ever, and surely you'll be better if you follow my intensive advice of going into therapy, doing things that are good for your soul, distancing yourself from the drama and negativity, eating things that make your soul happy and being with the ones and doing the things that make you feel absolutely glad of being alive, here today. I won't let you go, because I know you truly don't wan't to got. You just want the pain to stop, and believe me, we all do... So don't feel like an outcast for wishing that. The key here, my lovely friend, is to find a way in which, staying alive, you can ease the pain. You'll do, plus you'll get used to things that seemed unthinkable before, and you'll become so strong. I can't really tell you how much strength and courage you will win during this battles, because you are fighting with your damn self, the one that knows your weakest points and how to manipulate you better than anyone.
You are a freaking badass, let me tell you. You've accepted the responsability for your own health, for you wellbeing and came out of the mental health closet. That, is the hardest step to take for most of the people. To accept something isn't right and that eventhough self love isn't high as the Everest, you deserve better. You can't and you shouldn't let yourself feel miserable when there are tools to explore for you to be better.
I admire you, I feel for you, and I'm here unconditionally. Because I'm you, and you're me. Hell knows that I've been paying more visits to there than the ones I would like to admit, and there are moments of so much pain I can literally feel something cracking on my chest. But heaven knows I try, daily, to be alive. And I've survived, but also lived, for 23 years and almost a month now.
If I can do it, you can do it too. Believe me that the courage you have, since this point, is inmense and much superior than the one you've ever had. Thank you for letting me walk this journey with you, thank you for giving me reasons to be alive in order to be here for you, thank you for choosing to be here reading this letter.
Look at your chest, look at your breathing. Now place a hand on your heart. It beats, and it's beautiful, isn't it? You may feel broken, you may feel miserable, but there's a whole body fighting with all of what they've got to keep you alive. Because to them, to every tiny cell on your body, you are good enough, you are home, and they'll do anything to help you, to be with you no matter how many lies your mind tells you. And my dear, if that isn't beautiful...
I love you. I truly do.