Arthritis: Here's your welcome party

I still don’t get you. But you are here so, welcome! I was hoping you were just a reactive reaction but apparently I have a cozy body in which you decided to make a home, so there you go. You have met fibromyalgia, dermatitis, and the landlords: Anxiety and depression.

And I still don’t get you but you somehow work with them right? Like anxiety overcomes and you just decide to activate my joints and swell them up and that.
I still don’t get you because eventhough I’m diagnosed, I refuse to go to a doctor. Don’t get me wrong, you matter and I should get help. But hey, I’ve been to every kind of doctor in my last 5 years, I’ve gone through every single test, I’ve taken so many pills, and I’ve heard so many times the phrase “But you are so young to have _______ (fibro, anxiety, asthma, depression, dermatitis)” while the doctor looks at me with some pitty, cartoon-ish eyes. And I just smile because what else can I say? Yes? Thank you? I know? Shut up? So I just smile.

When we first met, dear Arthritis, you were just a reaction to a bacteria. And it was O.K. But they warned me that in people with poor inmune system, with previous chronic illnesses, and with muscular issues, there was the possibility that the arthritis became permanent.

And in that moment I knew, that that was my case. Because those are the type of jackpots I win. I’ve never, ever, won any raffle, I’m pretty average, but in health terms I’m always, always the one that deffies the odds. The young girl with fibromyalgia. The rare case of asthma that reappears. The one with a chronic major deppresive desorder. The girl who loses her ability to speak or that paralizes after a panic attack. Yup, that’s me. The one that the doctors (after the pitty eyes) say “It’s not that common, less in someone so young”. And I just laugh. Because that’s me.

I’m trying to get you, and I’m trying to deal with you and fibromyalgia at the same time (You guys make such a good pair). Because fibro screws up my muscles, and you my joints, so it’s the whole package. I feel like I’m a mom dealing with twins and trying to calm them down after a simultaneous tantrum. It’s either focusing on something that helps my some muscles or something that helps my swollen joints. And the same when you pair up with anxiety. You haven’t done a duo appeareance with depression, but I can bet you will, and it will be remarkable as everything you do.

So as you see, I have a lot of balls in the air. So I’ll try to calm you down with acupuncture, because I already take a lot of meds (psychiatric, asthma, fibro, dermatitis), so I’m going natural on you. It’s nothing against you, is just that they came first, but you are as important as them, I swear.

I still don’t get you, but I have to. I guess. So welcome to my life, please try to not make a lot of noise, but as I’ve seen, you are a really loud and attention seeking pal. I've also noticed how you decide to make a big entrance every time I get a cold or when the weather is bad. And to make me hurt so bad, I can't even stand up straight. So I'll get used to walk with my back in a 90 degree angle. And to minimize the shock everytime I get up and I see that you decide to make some random joint of mine look like a canaloupe. I'm trying my best, it's just that girl, you ain't easy! You want way too much attention and I have to, you know, keep up with the other aspects of my life AND take care of my other diseases. You are certainly not the only one and you'll have to share the attention I give you.

I would send you a hug, but thanks to you I can barely move my shoulder and elbow. So I send you a kiss dear arthritis.

All my love,

Mariana